A 2020 Vision in a Christian Marriage
A Past, Present, and Future Perspective
by
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Manifestations of Love
1. Intimacy
Intimacy, as defined by Webster, is intrinsic; innermost; marked by very close association, contact or familiarity; marked by warm friendship; suggesting informal warmth or privacy.
In the context of Christian marriage, intimacy is framed through prayer for loved ones, and is an avenue or extension of love. An intimate interaction exists between you and God and the loved ones you pray for. Intimacy is a medium of expression that connects a man to his wife, parents to their children, and in-laws to their extended families. Intimacy, to be effective, needs to be a two-way channel, a back-and-forth interaction.
Other forms of intimacy involve aspects of physical interaction that can include spending special time with each other, holding hands, touching lovingly, looking into each other’s eyes, walking on the beach, picnicking at the lake, enjoying an ice cream cone together, helping to wash the dishes after a meal, planting flowers, leaving love notes for your mate, or calling your spouse just to say “I’m thinking about you” and “I love you” when you are away from each other. Intimacy is letting your spouse know that you are in it for the long haul, enduring all of the day-to-day hills and valleys of marriage. In other words, intimacy is romancing your spouse. It is a continuation of the honeymoon, maintaining your garden of Eden.
In a web article about intimacy, H. Norman Wright asserts that intimacy is a very strong personal relationship—a special emotional closeness that includes understanding and being understood by someone who is very special. Intimacy has also been defined as an affectionate bond, the strands of which are composed of mutual caring, responsibility, trust, open communication of feelings and sensations, and the non-defended exchange of information about significant emotional events. Intimacy means taking the risk to be close to someone and allowing that someone to step inside your personal boundaries.
Then we come to spiritual intimacy. In the book The Spiritually Intimate Marriage, Don Harvey states the most complete definition of spiritual intimacy that I have found. He says spiritual intimacy is “being able to share your spiritual self, find this reciprocated, and have a sense of union with your mate.” Spiritual intimacy maintains the closeness to God that also keeps the married couple close to each other and in alignment with God.
How close are you to your spouse? How much time do you invest in the development of spiritual intimacy? How willing are you to adjust your schedules and mentally commit to the process in return for the special closeness and understanding you will build with the one person who is so special to you?
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About the Book
This marriage series is focused on a 2020 vision of the past, present and future ramifications of marriage and family in Christian living. Faith is emphasized in order to help the readers gain a greater understanding of the precepts that lead to a stronger marriage. The principles used in this outline are applied to make it real as it relates to the husband and wife, siblings, parents and children and how they all relate. The authors bring nearly 50 years of experience living and participating in an active role of Christian development in marriage.
There are many discussions, questions and activities which may or may not be gender specific that relate to scripture. This series may lead to questions with contrasting viewpoints that will contribute to a broader, more insightful way of thinking of how we view ourselves as Christians in marriage. The entire series is written with the understanding that prayer in all topics and issues presented is all encompassing and is the first and last option to the success of all elements of marriage and family.
About the Author
The authors met at a small land grant college in West Virginia. She was a freshman and he was a “super senior.” At a homecoming dance, they met and danced the night away. Because of the military draft and because the Vietnam War was escalating, Henry joined the United States Air Force. Four years separated the two until an inquiring phone call to Susan brought them back together.
The authors are blessed to be celebrating forty-nine years of marriage. From the beginning of their marital union, which was sanctioned in the pastor’s study, they have served the Lord by working in the church. They have served as teachers in the department of Christian education in every church they have been members of.
After they raised their children, the church leadership approached them and asked them to develop and implement an Hour of Enrichment for married couples during the Enrichment Hour of the church’s Sunday School. Currently, the couple is actively involved as part of the 2R1 Marriage Ministry at the church of their current affiliation. They help to coordinate and present workshops for married couples.