Thriving in a Digital World

What You Can Give Your Kids that Technology Can’t…

“Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?

Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?” --T.S. Eliot

A pastor once told me the difference between knowledge and wisdom, and I never forgot it. He said that knowledge tells us that a tomato is a fruit, but wisdom tells us not to put it into a fruit salad! Although it’s silly, it’s true! Google or Reddit can give our children knowledge and facts, but only parents, teachers, spiritual leaders, and grandparents can relate those facts to real-life context and eternal values! Facts plus experience equals knowledge. Knowledge plus reverence equals wisdom. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom—it starts with the reverence that realizes there is something bigger and wiser than we are. In that regard, we as parents need to be careful that we aren’t letting our children be raised by Google or any other algorithm-based digital platform.

Awe can be inspired by observing man-made, technological feats such as the Space Shuttle or the Brooklyn Bridge, but true reverence can only be stirred when we as humans are in the presence of something bigger than the human experience—forces stronger than any man or woman. In order to develop this type of reverence in our children, we must slow down and slow them down long enough to notice. Take them to the porch to watch a violent thunderstorm replete with wind, rain, and lightning. Take them to the Grand Canyon and just look at the majesty—no headphones or portable video games. Teach them to grow their own flowers and food—even if it’s just sprouting seeds in a cup in a sunny window. Let them watch a litter of puppies or kittens being born. Expose them to nature and teach them reverence. It will serve them well in the long run.

We teach children reverence by example and by helping them interpret the world around them. We teach them that words are vessels, and they can be filled with light or with darkness—that what they think, say, and do matters for eternity. Then we teach them the true objects of reverence—just things, true things, pure things, good things, things of good reputation, things that are lovely, worthy and weighty—things that aren’t vain and empty. This happens intentionally and consciously. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, older siblings, and teachers all play an irreplaceable role in cultivating reverent hearts and a taste for what is worthy. Technology is now and always will be unable to accomplish this.

One way to build reverence and cultivate wonder in our children is by letting them explore nature daily. The study of nature provokes humility in children and adults. Americans in the Boomer generation (1946-1964) enjoyed a type of free and natural play outdoors that is unheard of today. They threw frisbees on the lawn, lay down on grassy slopes and watched the clouds move overhead, roller skated and biked on the streets and sidewalks, and learned high level negotiation skills when playing pickup baseball or basketball games with other children. They learned to build treehouses, dig holes, and make rope swings. They swam in any body of water they could find. This type of play seems like a “quaint artifact” in today’s world of Fortnight, Minecraft, YouTube and TikTok.

Most kids today don’t even know how to conduct a simple “eenie, meenie, miny, moe” that was the basis of choosing who’s “it” for decades! Kids today don’t know how to play unless that play is electronic or highly organized and controlled by others. Most, if not all play today is membership based and expensive. Swim team, travel baseball and soccer, cheerleading, gymnastics, trampoline parks, play dates, theme parks, and water slides. Without constant supervision, kids say they are bored and don’t know how to entertain themselves. One fourth grade student in San Diego put it this way: “I like to play indoors better ‘cause that’s where all the electrical outlets are.”

Because of this, children have lost their sense of wonder and their sense of wander. They are not allowed enough time to wonder about anything—seeking an immediate answer from the oracle Google or cathedrals of pooled ignorance like Reddit and Quora, and they are not allowed enough space to wander because parents have been convinced that danger is lurking in nature around every shrub and bush. Children have been taught by the dominant cultural narrative to believe that nature equals doom, even though several studies suggest that the intentional and regular exposure of children to nature is a powerful type of therapy for ADD/ADHD, anxiety, and other mental and social issues.

Researchers tell us that time in natural settings (away from the city) is helpful for increasing attention span and diminishing impulsivity. Whether it’s a backyard, school playground, city park, or an outcropping of trees in the suburban neighborhood, behavior improves when children have adequate green time. What is adequate? Well, let’s start with the same amount of time they are playing video games or staring at their phones. Our mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health depend on regular contact and communion with nature. This is something we can provide for our children that no amount of engagement with digital technology can provide. We need to be intentional about taking kids out in nature and helping them explore the wonders there. Sending them to summer camp is not enough! God shows up in nature.