Zero Percent Chance

Chapter 1
Let’s Do This
Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.
—Proverbs 16:3

I have always been a man of action. My mother and father knew this. It was for this reason that they pulled me out of school in the fifth grade, when my grades began suffering. Their reasoning was that I would learn far better doing, rather than just reading and being told. In my years of education that followed, I learned quickly through action and relished the opportunity to attempt new things because I knew that I needed just one try and I would be capable of unlimited possibilities. I learned through trial and error. ADHD was not a thing when I was a child, but if it were, I would have been tied up and had medicine poured down my throat because I was always active.
Nothing changed once I joined the army. I attended West Point, became an officer, and progressed along until I became a captain at Fort Bragg. I found myself living the perfect life. I had the perfect wife who complemented me in every way. Samantha was everything that I was not. She was beautiful, kind, caring, compassionate, and smart—and super weird, because for some unknown reason she liked me. We had a little boy; his name was Ian, and he is the most amazing human being on the face of the planet. I couldn’t wait to train him to be a man and have him as a best friend.
I had a great career. I was a team leader in special operations. Everyone called it a Special Forces team, but we were so much more. We were a civil affairs team that focused on getting people to do what we wanted them to do, without force if possible. My team was capable of negotiation, and I saw them do things that impressed me beyond words. We could gain unlimited access and influence in areas that were completely closed off to nonlocal populations. Even though we were the best who walked around our area, I always looked for an opportunity to shine. Continuing to network even at Fort Bragg, for practice of course, I found myself sitting in a video teleconference explaining how a civil affairs planning team would benefit any organization because we would be able to provide in-depth, relevant planning capabilities regarding effects on the local populations and the second- and third-order effects of operations on the population with regard to unconventional warfare (UW). This was not nearly as intelligent as my executive officer’s elevator pitch, which I needed to memorize, because after my boss Major Nick had finished talking, he asked for our team to join his organization on a quick deployment to the Middle East. If we were to augment the unit we were briefing on the video teleconference, then we could help increase the effectiveness of Nick’s deployment through cross-unit communication. The objective would be to fight against the terrorist organization known as the Islamic State. Each of us around the table threw a thumbs-up, signaling that we would make it happen with further coordination. Then the planning began.
My five-man team occupied the conference room for the next four weeks, filling up each of the whiteboards with writing regarding the Military Decision-Making Process (MDMP). We packed up our equipment and made sure our paperwork, wills, and any legal documents were in order before meeting at the compound on September 1, 2018. Prior to the meet-up, I kissed my beautiful wife goodbye, knowing for some reason this was likely the last time I would ever see her again. I hugged my son and said a quick prayer before grabbing my best friend and right-hand man, Chief Michael. Chief Michael and I had worked together in our battalion for the last four years as a civil affairs planning team. When planning this deployment, Michael was the first guy whom I knew I wanted going with me to Iraq. His sense of humor, can-do attitude, and positivity were crucial while I was away from my family. Being the “old broken man” he is from serving ten-plus years prior as an army airborne soldier, Michael was now on his last deployment, one we were both very eager for and enthusiastic about. We turned to enter the compound to begin our deployment.
As weird as it may sound, a deployment is what we live for in the army. I joined the army not only to serve my country but also to serve through deploying. It was through deploying that I felt alive, because on deployments I was able to keep the monsters away from my loved ones, preserving freedom and keeping the country that I love so much free from terrorism and oppression. The only problem with deployments is that after a deployment, no matter what happens or fails to happen, most soldiers do not return in the same condition in which they left.
My family and the families of millions of soldiers past, present, and future know that soldiers change with the high tempo of deploying, especially in special operations. For example, while working at Fort Stewart, Georgia, ten days after my son was born, I deployed for nine months to Afghanistan. This was in September of 2012. I came home, and a month later, in July 2013, I applied and volunteered for the civil affairs selection course at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. One of a handful of soldiers selected for this special operations unit, I started schooling and training for eighteen months. As soon as I graduated in September 2015, I left for a six-month deployment to Jordan. I was home for four months, then went to Lebanon, and three months later went to Jordan for another six months. Each time I returned, Samantha had to learn who the man who had returned was. Sadly, of the last five years, I was gone for four, and Samantha felt that it was like having a stranger come home and live with her. Reintegration became ever more important after each deployment. It allowed me to get to know how I had changed and to help my family understand who I was. I leaned heavily on my teammates, such as Chief Michael, during the return, which is why I ended up seriously attaching myself to him for this deployment.