I Love You More

I started to convince myself that it wasn’t fair for me to be taken care of while my daughter was out there. What a farce that was! Looking back now I can see how that was my pity party. If it wasn’t for one of the staff members to tell me that if I continued thinking that way, I would walk out the door. But because I didn’t, I’m able to be sitting here eight years later, writing this book, married to a pastor while my fifteen-year old daughter is at her Christian youth group. (I entered the program six days before her seventh birthday). This certainly wouldn’t be the case if I believed the lie that “she needs me” and I left. Once you start thinking that you shouldn’t be in a program because your children need you, let me assure you, you are in very dangerous waters. Two truths are going on. The first one is yes, they do need you, and the second one is that this thinking will take you out and quite possibly ruin a future with them. Because your children need you is the exact reason you should continue to fight steadfastly to remain planted where you are. Stop running, stop procrastinating, stop being selfish, stop doing what you always do, and relinquish control of your life to the people around you who will help you. Children need stability. Your addiction is making their lives unstable, regardless of how much you think you were there for them. Remember how you would take them to undesirable places, have them around strange people, used money that could’ve been spent on them? Yes, your children need you, but they certainly don’t need that.

I have seen over and over mothers who believed they had to go home because their children needed them. More often than not, their circumstances did not improve, and sadly many of those mothers eventually died. Yes, their children did need them just like yours does. Those women permanently lost the chance to grow and mature into godly mothers – ones who nurture, encourage, provide, protect, train, coach, and discipline their children.

God is for you and He will give you the strength you need to battle these temptations that are determined to pull you back into the world. This truth is not only for those of you who still can be restored to your children. It is also for you as a woman, to be a light to every person you meet.