Called According to His Purpose

According to the census bureau, there are over fifty-four million people in the United States who have either an intellectual or a physical disability. This does not include individuals with disabilities who are institutionalized. That means that at least one out of every five individuals has some type of disability.
How are we to view these individuals? How are we to view those who have the obligation of taking care of them? Does the general population understand what it takes to be a caretaker of one or more individuals who have disabilities? In many instances, a person may have more than one disability. With multiple disabilities, there is the possibility of multiple complications.
Over the years, there has developed a greater public awareness of the difficulties that families with children with disabilities face, but it still isn’t as high as it needs to be. There also are individuals who have committed themselves in various ways to the education of those who have special needs as well as to helping with physiological and psychological therapy for those with special needs. Despite those who help in these areas and who provide much needed support, there is also an imperative for support from a wide range of people from various backgrounds. There is need for a community of people to help families who have loved ones with disabilities.
What exactly is needed? You might be surprised by the answer that I personally have to this question. What is really needed has no price tag. What we need is understanding and time. We must take the time to understand the struggle, the emotional investment that produces weariness, the physical exhaustion that is experienced on a regular basis, and the psychological and spiritual turmoil that many deal with regularly who are the caregivers for children with mental and physical disabilities. What a great help it would be if someone could provide respite for a few hours every day for these families. Most people, because their own lives are filled with all kinds of activities, cannot seem to find the time to help someone get a break for a few hours from the care of a child or children with disabilities.
What does it mean to love your neighbor as yourself? What does neighborly love look like? How many people would look at those around us with children with disabilities as being our neighbors? Do we ask the question, What can I do to help you? The word love is used so often and rolls off our lips so easily when we speak to people, even to those we hardly know. What does it mean in practice? Are we willing to get into the messiness of people’s lives, particularly those who have children with disabilities? How willing are we to give up some of the things we want to do to help those we know who are struggling in environments of disability?
Often people question why God would allow a child with a disability to be born to their family. They may experience isolation from other people, anger toward God and others, spiritual struggles, mental gymnastics, and tension between spouses and among other family members. The degree of the severity of the disability a child has (or perhaps more than one child in the same family) determines the intensity of the emotional, psychological, and spiritual uneasiness that is experienced by that family. However, for those with eyes to see, it will become evident that even children with special needs can serve the higher purposes of God in this world, each in his or her own special way. And there is joy to be had in sharing that experience with them!

This book is all about our journey as a family with children with disabilities. I share with you the struggles that we had along the way, including the difficulties with people not being very sympathetic toward our children or with us as parents. As a pastor, a counselor, and a parent, I share with you the mental, emotional, and spiritual battles that took place, not only with us as parents, but with our children. We will cover such subjects as the voices that we hear, isolation, identity, idiosyncrasies, education, discipline, community, and how God views disabilities.
In addition to sharing our journey as a family with two children with disabilities, I would like to share the journey of a woman named Jewel DeShields who was told by her doctor that she would not be able to have a second child. God subsequently blessed her with a child named Theodore, a name that means gift of God. The gift that was given to her was taken away when he was just twenty-eight years of age. Theodore completed the mission on Earth that God had given him, and then he was called home to be with the Lord. Mrs. DeShields shares her incredible story of how God used this child to impact her life and the lives of many others, even though his life was brief. I secured a license plate in Pennsylvania that reads “1 Agape 1.” Theo had a license plate that read “1-Agape” which means “one ove” in the Greek language. It is fitting that Theo’s license plate represented how he genuinely loved people with God’s love and also served a great purpose in God’s overall plan, even though his life did not match up to the norm of most human lives.
I hope that the story of Theo, which was written by his mother, will be an inspiration to you and that it will help you to see God in a way you never have seen Him before. In fact, I hope that this book will help you to experience God through these two families. We should be able to see God easily through both our children and Theo. We will see that they were all Called According to His Purpose.