Journey to Acceptance

Saturday started out beautifully. Justin’s respite caregiver was scheduled to arrive at 9:00, but Justin was already up by 8:00, very stinky and begging for his shower by trying to get me to undo the zipper of his backward onesie. We put the zipper at the back so he couldn’t unzip it. We had started to make him wear those so that he couldn’t undress himself and make a disgusting disaster of the bathroom before we woke up. He seemed like he would cooperate today, unlike other times when I’ve had to wrestle with a grown man to bathe. I bathed and dressed him for church, his respite provider came, and we left.

Church went well, and Justin sat next to me. He enjoyed the music, danced when the praise team sang, and was nicely sitting through the sermon. All of a sudden, he reached over and hit me hard in the head. His caretaker quickly traded seats with me to put a barrier in between us. He attacked her too. The rage in his eyes was palatable. He was grabbing her hair and pulling it very hard. I could not get his hands free no matter how hard I tried. The people in the surrounding benches were absolutely horrified as they looked on and gasped, not knowing what to do. Some quickly said, “Stop! That’s your mother!” Justin continued. Luckily, we were sitting toward the back of the church and the deacons were nearby. They quickly sprang into action and pulled him away, still screaming and wailing. I quickly gave the provider my car keys. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, but somehow I did not feel judged. I stayed in my seat. The congregation seemed to understand and were very supportive. Mommy followed the deacons outside. Three grown men were needed to keep him in a chair in the church foyer. They decided to put him in the car and put the child locks on. He was still really upset by the time I came out of church thirty minutes later.

The caregiver said it was best that we did not get in the car, and she was right. I could see he was still highly upset, and the episode was not finished or subsided. He would definitely continue to attack while I tried to drive us home. We would likely be in a serious accident. I called 911 yet again. They stayed on the line until the police came to the church.

This is the life of a parent whose autistic child is now adult sized, tall, Road-Runner fast with the strength of The Hulk.