Lessons from My Father and Mother

When I was eight years old, one weekend evening, we went to San Francisco (SF), CA, as a family. At the time, we lived in Richmond, North East, across the bay from San Francisco. Before heading west onto what's now the I-80 freeway, we stopped to get gas at a Chevron service station. My Dad got out of the car and started helping service the car and talking to the attendant. At that time, a service station attendant always pumped your gas. My Mom was sitting in the front seat on the passenger side, and I was sitting on the gas pump side, behind my Dad. My siblings were also in the back seat to the right of me. A car pulled in next to us on the other side of the gas pump with a highly flashy couple in dress and appearance. They also had a distinctive vibe to them. I dont know why. But the woman caught my attention, and I focused on her, never taking my eyes off her. The woman was beautiful and possessed a distinct difference about her that I discerned and found very attractive but didn't know what it was. I was too young to understand my interest in her, and I have no idea what I was thinking. However, I must have been staring very intently at her. My mother sensed something, turned her head, and looked back at me. Then she said, "Robert, not all men, but most men, again not all men, but most men can be led wherever a woman wants by the middle part of her anatomy." Mom continued after a short pause, "Most attractive women know that they have that power over men. Many of them know how to use it to get what they desire from men. A woman can lead and manipulate a man to get whatever she wants from him. Again, not all men, but the desire for the middle part of a woman"s anatomy is the biggest weakness for most men. The weakness of men is the middle of a woman's anatomy." Mom continued saying, "On the other hand, men can lead, not all women, but most women wherever they want, if they have enough money, if they are rich enough. Again, not all women, but most women are attracted to men or can be enticed by rich men with just a little wooing and attention given to them. Rich men know this and use it greatly to get the women they want and manipulate women to get what they want from them. Robert, the weakness of the woman is money." Mom didn't go into any details or further elaboration, but at the end of her dialogue, I had an idea and understanding of the messages she conveyed to me. I had been exposed to enough TV, movies, and comments about "Playboy" magazine. That Mom's comments regarding the impact pretty women had on men and the effect rich men had on women, especially if the man was also famous, didn't stifle me. It was played out on TV and in movies over and over. Although not with the sexual innuendos Mom referred to. In cinema, it was always the pretty woman who was the treasure of affection; and the rich, powerful, famous, or hero man who got the beautiful woman. I had also listened with interest when I heard grownups discussing the new "Playboy" magazine and its "Center Page" in a hush-hush tone and discrete manner. Additionally, I had seen what newspaper movie sections and gossip columns reported about beautiful women and their connections with rich and famous men. Therefore, neither of Mom's comments regarding the power of pretty women over men or the ability of wealthy men to lure women bewildered me. Nor was I surprised or phased by the implications that women use their attractiveness to allure men into their web to get what they wanted, and men of wealth allure women in a visa-versa manner to get what they want. Those female-male and male-female power moves didn't disturb me because I had already been innocently alerted. I overheard my Mom and aunts discussing men and who they found desirable and undesirable. I had, on occasion, heard them call some famous men "dogs" or say, "he's a dog!" At the time, I assumed what they meant was. 'The dog man,' as they described him, was incredibly selfish, concerned only about what he could get from a woman, not her. So it wasn't a big step for me to think that some women were like that also, although I never heard my Dad, uncles, or any other man describe a woman as such. Therefore, with my simple reasoning, coupled with my TV and movie experience. I was neither mystified, stimied, surprised, nor shocked by Mom's lessons to me. However, I had no idea why Mom said what she said to me nor her purpose and motive for pointing out what she had. Additionally, I didn't know what she saw or heard that stimulated her to say what she spoke to me. Or why Mom thought it was essential to give me the lessons at that time. Also, I didn't know how to use the information she gave me or its importance and relevance. As I said, I was only about eight years old and not anywhere as mature as the people I saw in the movies or those discussed in the newspapers, or who I heard about in Playboy magazine. They were all adults. When Mom spoke to me, I listened to her very carefully but never took my eyes off the woman. However, I didn't ask Mom anything about what she said, nor did Mom ask for my response. It was a simple set of passive lessons on the weakness of men and the weakness of women. I received Mom's teaching and tutorial as something I would need some time in the future, but not then.