The Cure-All for the Relationship Pandemic

Chapter 1
Why Is Preparation for a Relationship Necessary?

Life is filled with pitfalls. In every step of our journey, there is some form of challenge. One of the greatest mistakes many men and women seeking relationships make is not to consider or adequately prepare themselves in all ways before venturing into the lifetime commitment that is marriage.

Preparation has to do with the action or process of making ready for use or consideration, considering the complexities of our lives. Without preparation, success is unlikely. Consider preparation the cornerstone of a man’s destiny. If you hate preparation, then you do not love success.

As an example, let’s revisit going to school. Prior to moving on to the next class, one of the criteria is a test to show what you have learned. Not preparing for that test means you will be less confident and more nervous. This lack of preparedness can manifest in many ways, such as you not successfully completing the course or having to identify some consistently weak areas that needed work. You may even be intimidated by not knowing some of the answers or feel guilty for not knowing since you had time to prepare. If you fail your exams, you will have to repeat a year instead of going to the next level or more advanced grade with your friends. A marriage is similar. It doesn’t signify the end of a relationship but the beginning of a new chapter for which you must prepare adequately and which you must consistently work on it for maximum success.

God wants us to achieve success, which is another reason to prepare before taking that sacred vow before God and man by saying, “I do.” It is equally important for both parties to understand and appreciate the importance of their roles in preparation for such life-changing decisions. Ephesians 5:23 (NKJV) tells us, “For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the Church, and He is the Savior of the body.” In this context, “head” refers to having leadership or authority. That is the role of the man. God wants man to be the prophet, priest, and king of his household since he will now become responsible for his wife and family. With leadership comes responsibilities, the man being the head means that he is a team player and not being superior to his wife nor Lord over her. Once you have a certain level of authority, as is given by God to men, that authority cannot be casually handled. Preparing yourself for whatever comes is key.


Even though marriage is popular, it remains unknown territory for first-timers. It is important to prepare for the best and most ideal outcomes. You must also prepare for the intensely challenging moments so that your relationship has a chance of recovery and builds its resilience. The adage “Failing to prepare is preparing to fail” could not be more appropriate. When someone says, “Give me six hours to chop down a tree,” in their mind, they dedicate an hour to sharpening their ax. That is preparation. Otherwise, they would be using a dull ax, which then makes chopping down the tree take twice as long.

The most fundamental reason for marital demise is lack of preparation. It cannot be emphasized enough, and both the man and the woman must equally prepare.

Preparing to say, “I do,” is almost like being a soldier standing ready and poised for the battle he committed to fight—much like the soldier described in Ephesians 6:11 (NKJV): He is commanded by the Commander to put on the whole armor of God. He girded his waist with Truth, put on the breastplate of Righteousness, shod his feet with the preparation of the Gospel, taking the shield of Faith, the helmet of Salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, and most importantly prayer and supplication. This is the way he dresses in spirit and manifests in the flesh. Always use preparation as a marker for success.