Strength on the Water

Chapter 1: Reclaimed

The cursor blinked steadily on the screen. A blank outlined box stared back at me. What words could I type to fill in this space that would encompass the directive: “Tell us a little about yourself?”

Divorced. Single mother. College student. Lonely. Exhausted.

Somehow, I didn’t think these words were going to help me out in this particular task. What did they want to hear:

Active! Ambitious! Spontaneous!

I shut the laptop as my bedroom door opened.

“Mohhhm,” he dragged the title out in a long, whiny slur.

“What’s up buddy, what do you need?” He climbed up on my lap as I sat at my desk. The pretty glass desk next to the posh cream leather office chair I was sitting on. The one his dad bought me a few months before he moved out.

“I’m thirsty,” he whimpered.

“Dude, you’ve had too many drinks already. I don’t think it’s a good idea to have any more. How about I come lay next to you for a few minutes, okay?”

We walked across the family room and down the short hallway to his bedroom. His brother was in the top bunk.

“I’m never going to fall asleep!” he burst out upon our arrival. “Jake won’t shut up and I have to get up early to work out with Dad. I’m never going to get enough sleep!”

“I’m sorry, I know,” I tried to placate Michael, “Just give him a few more minutes and he’ll settle down.”

“Yeah, right,” Michael sighed but didn’t argue anymore. I slid into bed beside Jake who’d already climbed up and was smack dab in the middle of the bed.

“Scootch over, buddy. I’m going to fall off the bed,” I pushed Jake over a little and tucked his favorite stuffed dog under his arm. Then I draped my arm over his little body and put my head just above his, inhaling the smell of recently washed hair.

I couldn’t complain too much, I loved laying here next to him and snuggling my baby. Just like I enjoyed my older two when they were this age. But I knew I couldn’t afford to fall asleep here with so much left to get done tonight. This was my productive time, when the kids were all in bed and I could get some homework or studying done. Maybe that’s not what I had been doing, but I would get to it when they were asleep and I could concentrate. I’d briefly been distracted by this dating website, trying to figure out which one was the best—there were too many. And now dating apps—lots of those, too. Knowing which would yield the right guy was the real question. Farmers Only? Probably not my type. Tinder? Hook-ups. I was hoping this newest site would find the dashing, yet responsible, Prince Charming that was out there just waiting to be discovered.

After several minutes, Jake’s breathing became more regular, and I slowly extracted myself from under his comforter. I quietly closed the door and walked down the short hallway, but as I passed Olivia’s room, I heard her singing softly. I paused and leaned in to better hear what she was singing. I couldn’t make it out, but it made me happy to hear her sweet voice. She was probably making up a song, as she often did. She seemed to work out her feelings this way.

I padded across the tiled floor, the fuzzy socks I wore protecting me from the cold tiles and dulling the sound of my footsteps. I walked into my bedroom, surveying the updated surroundings—the desk in the corner still new enough to my eyes, and the long wall opposite the windows bare without the long, low dresser. The tall dresser now turned diagonally in the corner with a small TV on top, taking up more space and making the area feel less empty with the other dresser missing. The new feminine duvet cover claimed the bed as mine, no longer belonging to anyone else. I had stuff on top of both nightstands—all mine as well.

My attention drifted to the laptop. It sprung to life as I opened it, the picture of Navajo Lake appearing with Jake and Olivia splashing in the water, Michael close behind in the kayak. That had been a good trip. I’d felt so accomplished using my new hitch on the minivan to tow our camp trailer up the windy roads to the lake.

I typed in my password and the blank gray box was staring back at me again. I opened another tab and brought up Facebook. I hadn’t posted anything since the separation and divorce that explained my situation and had only joined social media quite recently to connect with friends and family, a connection I needed right now. Suddenly I decided it was time: “Homework or Dating Site?” I posted, then immediately clicked on the other browser tab, not waiting for any commentary. Back to the gray box.

I’m a pretty well-rounded gal. I need to get out and do things! I’m the kind of girl who likes to get muddy but also get dressed up for a night on the town. I love music of all sorts—playing, singing, listening to it, dancing to it. Currently attending Dental Hygiene school. An adventurer at heart, I have been enjoying new things on my own and with my 3 kids (ages 14, 10 and 6). I recently took up triathlon training and have participated in a few this last year. If it involves water, the answer is yes!

I pressed submit and the website took me back to the homepage. I had now completed the required information and would be allowed to peruse the goods. Just then a little chirping sound came from the computer speaker. A collapsed chat box in the lower right of the screen started flashing with the number one in red—one new chat. A message already?