Overcoming Feelings of Guilt and Shame

“The throat of the individual’s soul is parched,” Larry Crabb has observed, “thirsty for the water of loving relationship and meaningful impact.” He further noted that when one refuses to turn to God for the water that He provides, the longings become tyrants, urging the individual to find satisfaction anywhere and by any means necessary. This urging, if carried out, could cause you to violate God’s standards to gain your desires.

Although I shared my musical talent with local church choirs and military chapels stateside and overseas, my desire for love did not decrease. The pain of my relationship failures did not hurt any less, but these feelings were masked within my talents, my appearance, and my tenacity. Guilt and shame followed me for decades, until I finally found peace in my life and in my personal ministry to others. This would take time, a host of tears, and a surrender to God.

As you engage with this book and commit to devoting time with God through worship and meditation in His presence, my prayer and objective is that you develop the tools and strength necessary to walk in victory in your daily life. There is freedom in confronting and addressing issues that, though they occurred in the past, continue to have an impact in the present.

This book’s purpose is to emphasize how you can set your mind free from the effects of guilt and shame and from dwelling on past mistakes by allowing the Lord to heal your brokenness. This can be done through an understanding of sin, guilt, shame, and humanity’s fallen state in biblical history and as demonstrated in my personal experience. I hope to capture God’s wonderful plan of redemption, salvation, and justification, which comes through belief in Jesus Christ.

Guilt and Shame: My Story of Redemption

I believe that holding on to feelings of guilt and shame grieves God. Guilt arrived early in my life as I navigated a relationship between two women who both loved me. I was adopted and raised by my mother’s sister. It was a wonderful opportunity but also presented challenges. I often wondered as a child to whom I really belonged and how I would give devotion and love to both within this family structure, as we lived close in proximity, and were often together. I felt a need to choose between the two sisters. I realized much later as an adult that both women were vital to who I became as a woman and a survivor. In childhood, I rejected my biological family at times, particularly when they took pictures as a family unit. They often sent for me, but I would not go. I strived to please my adopted mother, and I wanted the security that I experienced in my home to remain. As I looked around, I saw no other children with complications like mine. Therefore, I felt that one mom and one dad was normal; anything else was not. Even then, I looked to others to set a standard of what was proper. I wanted to fit in and not be labeled. I didn’t know if the feelings were from guilt, but even then, rejecting some of my family members felt wrong.