Letting My Walls Down
A Prodigal Daughter's Journey From Pregnancy to Purity and God's Grace
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CHAPTER SEVEN
YOU CAN RUN BUT CAN’T HIDE!
“If my people who are called by my name humble themselves,
and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I
will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”
—2 Chronicles 7:14, NKJV
Unarmed, weak, defeated, lost, hopeless! Y’all, I was a mess! My self-esteem was lower than low. I’d started believing all the lies the enemy whispered to me over the years. I felt like I was too far gone, so what did I do? I stayed stuck!
I began physically acting out the promiscuous thoughts and urges I’d had over the years. I made up my mind to go buck wild. My mindset was that I couldn’t get any lower, so why not do what I want?! I believed I was too messed up for God’s love, and since I no longer valued myself, I was willing to give myself to any man who wanted me.
In that jacked-up mindset, I’d allowed myself to get stuck in, I was okay with the fact that the dudes I attracted on that level didn’t value me and only wanted me for sex, nothing more and nothing less. I felt I deserved to be mishandled, used, and abused. I hated myself just that much!
Just to be clear, those thoughts that filled me with self-hate were ALL LIES!! But at the time, I believed all of those lies, and I was headed down the road of self-annihilation. I had turned so far away from God that I couldn’t even realize the enemy’s mind games. So that tricky devil was having a field day in my mind! He killed my faith. He stole my hope and joy. He destroyed my spirit. Ultimately, he almost stole the very breath out of my body, but God covered me even through my mess.
The big day finally came. In that mindset full of self-hate, I had dudes lined up wanting sex, and I made up my mind to move from general promiscuity to losing my virginity. In the early summer of 2014 at twenty years old, I had a date with a guy I barely knew. By the end of that date, I was no longer a virgin.
I would be lying if I told you I felt horrible about myself afterward. I did not. Honestly, I didn’t feel anything. I was emotionally numb. I also had no idea who I was at that point. I looked in the mirror and saw a stranger looking back at me. I didn’t know this girl I’d become, and quite frankly, I didn’t like her!
But even with my dislike for that stranger who looked like me, I remained stuck. Since I’d already messed up, I felt I might as well keep messing up…
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About the Book
Join Lonicia as she shares her journey Letting My Walls Down: A Prodigal Daughter’s Journey From Pregnancy to Purity and God’s Grace. Letting down the walls of her heart and removing her mask in full vulnerability, Lonicia shares how engaging in “innocent fun” during childhood eventually led her down a path of self-destruction, bondage, helplessness, and a bleeding soul she felt too unworthy to welcome God to heal.
Choices resulting in unwed motherhood served as the breaking point that caused Lonicia to cry out to Jesus and accept the gift of God’s grace. Like the Parable of the Prodigal Son, a young woman who chose to walk away from her heavenly Father’s embrace learned the hard way the gift of accepting God’s grace.
In her journey from pregnancy to purity, Lonicia defines purity as peace with God, not personal perfection. This movement promotes the fact that our past does not define us. It is never too late for a fresh start. Most importantly, God’s love for us all is unconditional. In God’s eyes, our value does not depreciate, no matter our mistakes. Thank you, Jesus, for grace, mercy, and peace!
About the Author
Lonicia Davis is a millennial woman aiming to do life with God. As a mother, mentor, and educator, she has a passion for leading by example to help others become the best version of themselves.
Since early childhood, Lonicia has used writing as a form of self-expression. During her teenage years, her writing skills developed into poetry, skits, short stories, and fiction. Whatever was written always came from the heart, which in return touched many hearts.
Her will to embrace vulnerability, doubled by her love for people and her empathetic gift, allows her to connect with people from all walks of life.
Connect with Lonicia today!
email:prodigaldaughter.tb2u@gmail.com