Good Pastor, Bad Fit

Maintaining Pastoral Authenticity As highlighted by this project, the conflict between pastors and deacons, and the added congregational hostility it promotes, can sometimes only be overcome with the resignation or termination of the pastor. Very rarely, if ever, will a church remove deacons from office during such conflict. This experience takes a definite toll on the pastors involved, especially in the cases where the deacons involved took actions that intentionally publicized what should have remained an internal dilemma. Similar to my experience of being prevented access to my office during my transition, the interviewees shared stories that included not being permitted to enter the church building on Sunday morning to preach and lead worship services and the defacing of external church signage to indicate the pastor had been removed prior to the church having officially made any such determination. The shared challenge for the participating pastors was remaining true to who God made and called them to be while navigating their respective storms. In addition to dealing with the continual conflict, each had to deal with the accompanying mental and emotional impact of personal grief and professional loneliness. To handle the admittedly hurtful emotional experiences, the interviewees employed practices and behaviors consistent with the following suggested strategies from H. B. London that are helpful in dealing with the pain caused by leaving a church. These are also strategies the participating pastors would advise others to practice during their transition and following their departure. Use your grief skills. As an experienced pastor, think back on ways you helped people deal with loss in their lives. Remember how grief washes over one like waves—in the midst of the apparent calm, a great breaker appears from nowhere. Tapping into pastoral practices used in leading others through grief and loneliness proved beneficial in overcoming the mental and emotional impact of such a transitional experience. One pastor even mentioned having experienced the five stages of grief during his transition—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—all while continuing to preach and pastor those who were willing to follow and accept his leadership. While there are a number of strategies employed by pastors in counseling others experiencing grief, the area consistently mentioned or implied was that which dealt with the concept of perseverance. Each of the pastors undoubtedly recognized that the successful outcome of their internal and external battles depended on their ability to persevere in faith by continuing steadfastly in their relationships with Jesus Christ. Keeping this relationship at the forefront of their engagement with church hostility provided the daily assurance and encouragement needed. Jay Adams writes, “Counselors must say in no uncertain terms that if they are truly saints (God’s own), it does matter; He cares. And saints will persevere; sooner or later they will come to realize this, so they might as well face it now and get out of their doldrums, self-pity (or whatever) and begin to act like saints.” Along these lines, although none of the interviewees had reached the point of doldrums or self-pity, there was comfort in being constantly reminded that God cares and their perseverance—as saints—was a certainty.