Suddenly It Was the Last Day of My Life

1 The End What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. —James 4:14 (NIV) I had not expected to die today. When I woke up on this frosty fall morning, dying was the last thing on my mind. In fact, it wasn’t on my mind at all. I had slept in fits and starts and was still tired and groggy as I pulled myself out of bed and got dressed. I suffered from sleep apnea and nowadays basically felt tired all the time. It had become part of my way of life. I was in a hurry, as usual. I had to go to the city to see my son Keith, run a few errands and keep an appointment. I hated being late. I was thinking about a lot of things as I went through my morning routine. My mind was troubled about Keith, who was experiencing a lot of difficulties in his teen years. He was my youngest and was struggling to stay in school. He had sent me a text, which I read as soon as I got up. Dad, can you send me forty dollars for vapes? He texted. Sure, I texted back. I really didn’t want to spend the forty dollars for vapes, but I knew that if I refused or delayed, he might get angry and not go to school. He had difficulties controlling his anger due to fetal alcohol syndrome, and the smallest perceived slight could trigger him. I had learned through hard experience not to push him, so I sent the money. There was a voicemail on my phone from my job asking me to work a twelve-hour shift tomorrow instead of my usual eight. I was tired. I was run down. I was in my fifties, and all I wanted to do was retire. Life had become a grind, and I felt like I was on a treadmill going nowhere. I really did not want to work overtime, but I wanted the money, so I phoned them back and told them I’d do it. As I struggled to get my socks on, something that I was finding more and more difficult to do as I gained weight and became less flexible, my wife Julie woke up. “Johnny honey,” she said, “before you go, can you go to the drugstore and buy that medication I was telling you about for the elderly lady at church? She really needs it today.” I didn’t have a lot of extra time if I wanted to get to that appointment on time. “I’m kind of in a hurry,” I said. She rolled over and pulled her covers up onto her head. “You always are.” A pang of guilt ran through me. She was right. I was always in a hurry. It seemed that my entire life was composed of just running from one thing to the next. I didn’t even have time to pick up some medication for an elderly widow. “All right, I’ll do it,” I said. “I should have just enough time.” “Thanks, love. Bring it back here, and I’ll take it over to her after I get up.”