Being a Godly Man in a Godless World

Introduction

I remember watching a Mel Gibson movie, which left a profound imprint on my mind. No, it wasn’t The Passion of the Christ, and to be completely honest with all of you, it really wasn’t one of his most memorable movies. The movie was What Women Want. In this film, he got the idea of trying to figure out just exactly what it was that women really wanted. The answer wasn’t as difficult as you might think. Just three little words sum up the satisfaction factor for women. The answer to what women really want, he realized, was a real man. After watching that movie, I began to ask myself, “What is a real man?”

Is a real man what we see on television in the image of Tim Allen grunting on Home Improvement or a man in the delivery room who gets the first glimpse of his child and breaks down and cries? The question is still asked. “Just what is a real man?”

The society we live in defines a man much differently in different cultures.

If you were raised Mexican, men are defined by two terms: “machismo men,” who answer to no one; and “caballero men,” who are more understanding. If you were born in the Middle East, a man is defined more like the boss, who is concerned only with his voice, and all else is beneath him.

Which is right, or is there a wrong answer? I think to start defining a man, we must realize there are different seasons of being a man. As an adolescent, I think most of us would agree that being a man was having the most letters on your jacket and being on the most sports teams. When you walked into your classroom, girls would look at you and think, Wow, what a man!

Unfortunately, if you were the tuba player in the band, that reaction in most cases didn’t cross the girls’ minds. What if you didn’t play sports and were the guy on stage, singing or dancing while wearing tights? Weren’t you a man then?

As we got a little older, a man became defined as the guy who could drink the most at parties or sleep with the most girls. You really were a man if you had a lot of notches on your belt. What if you were the one who, instead of sleeping around, preferred to wait for that right girl he wanted to marry? Unfortunately, society defined you as far away from being the man you could be.

As we get older and responsibility becomes part of our vocabulary, we learn about the importance of having a job and being a man who gets defined by his occupation.

If we sign up for the armed forces to defend our country or become police officers and protect the city we live in, the world looks at us and says, “That is a real man.” If we decide to become a nurse because we have a compassionate heart for others or choose to be a hairstylist, in most societies in the world, that wouldn’t be the job a real man would take.

I remember one job I had as I got out of college was in construction. One requirement you might not be aware of for a construction worker was being able to whistle and say, “Hey, mama” really well. That is one most people outside the field wouldn’t know about, but trust me, it’s true. Whenever a beautiful woman (in some instances, any woman) passed by a construction site, loud whistles and “Hey, mamas” echoed throughout. Now, in that field, the whistlers are considered the real men. If you don’t join in on the revelry, you aren’t one of the guys.

I wonder, though, How did the women feel? Did they feel like the real man was the one whistling? Or did they prefer the more silent one as defining who the real man was?

Being a real man takes on a whole new meaning when you are a parent. Even as a parent, defining a real man has different meanings.

Is the real man the father in the stands who yells the loudest for his child as he or she scores the winning basket or the dad who consoles his child with a big double scoop of ice cream on Sunday because he or she missed the final basket? Which then is the real man?

As we grew up, society taught us not to show emotions. Because of that, defining a real man took on a whole new meaning. Men, when our twelve-year-old daughter tries to share her heart with us about issues that are upsetting her, our response is often, “Go talk with your mother.” This is because most men were never taught that the sensitive things of life should matter to them. Besides, that is why we have women, right?

When you become a husband, the definition of being a man gets confusing.

We have a picture in our minds of how our fathers were toward our mothers, and that example is how we think our marriages should be.

Where we really get confused is when our wives answer back or, better yet, puff up our pillow on the couch and say, “Guess where you’re sleeping tonight.” We are totally thrown for a loop because most of our moms never spoke back to our fathers, and we have no idea how to act.
Are you a real man when you face up to your actions leading up to that outcome, or is the real man the one who lays down the law with an iron fist?

If you are lucky enough to have time for a guys’ night out, is a real man the one who says, “Guys, can I be honest with you?” Is the real man the one who, when asked how his marriage is going, responds, “Never better”? Then the same guy goes home to an empty bed and a sad wife, and since he thinks he’s a real man, he has no idea what he did to deserve this.
The age-old dilemma ensues. How do we define what a real man is?

I think to be a real man, you have to be around a real man. If the role models we have still cannot help us define being real men, then what?

You cannot find what it means to be a real man on TV or in movies. Your friends probably have the same dilemma as you. That is why they are your friends. Your father, if truth be told, could have used better wisdom in defining being a man. So how then can the question that was first asked in Mel Gibson’s movie be answered?

If we truly want to understand how to be real men, we need to read about the original man’s man. This is the one who, though more powerful than any warrior, was as sensitive as a father weeping over the death of his child.

The man who defines what being a real man looks like is Jesus Christ.

Without knowing who He is, understanding the power of the gospel He preached, and having a relationship with Him to learn true wisdom, you will never be a real man.

If you admit that when it comes to understanding what it means to be a real man, you have no clue, then that is a good start.

This book was written because I, just like millions of men, have no idea about what it means to be a real man and have made such a mess by trying to fake my way through it. No longer do I want to act the part; I want to be the part.

Many men of the Bible did that; they were being the part when it came to defining being a real man. With just a glimpse into these men’s lives, my prayer is that we can all pick up on the attributes they possessed. Then, with the help of the Holy Spirit, we can combine all their qualities and finally be real men. Philippians 1:6 says, “Being confident of this, that He who began the good work in me will carry it onto completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (NIV).