EMBRACING LIFE

Preface
The word “embrace” originates from the Latin term bracchim and is referred to as embracer in Old French. Embrace means to encircle, surround, enclose. In much of our lives, we embrace certain things and places we love. However, we do not embrace many parts of our lives’ circumstances, such as feelings we do not accept and circumstances we reject entirely. In fact, there are certain situations or conditions our society frowns upon that are utterly unacceptable, such as bullying, racism, terrorism, and illegal activities. In some cases, due to high expectations and pressures from our society, some tend to violate their own morals by embracing morals that contradict their own, just because our society says to. Sometimes, in some situations, we also allow some individuals to determine what we should or should not embrace in our lives. Allowing others to have total control over us could stem from many areas of life, including how we were brought up and changes made along the way.

We tend not to embrace uncomfortable feelings or actions. Instead, we may attempt to suppress those thoughts, feelings, actions, or circumstances that do not fit who we claim to be. By doing so, we may end up not being the person we intended to be. While it is easy for us to embrace comforting thoughts, feelings, and specific actions, it is imperative that we also embrace those discomforting thoughts, feelings, and specific actions and those sad circumstances as well. I love this about myself but I hate this about myself. As humans, we cannot just accept or embrace part of our being. We must always recognize the whole of who we are, whether it is good or bad. Even though we may not like specific features or characteristics about ourselves, they are part of us, and should be accepted and integrated into our whole.

Embracement is a word we probably act on or use when it suits us or when things are moving favorably in our lives. We reject it when things are not moving in the right direction for us. One can hold himself hostage if he fails to embrace certain thoughts, feelings, or discouraging circumstances. Remember how the saying goes, “Attack the problem, not the person”? Just understand that we, as individuals, attack ourselves instead of the problem by not acknowledging, accepting, or embracing the situation by feeling sorry for ourselves and believing that we should not be going through the situation. Instead, we lash out at others.

One of the things I see happen to a lot of people is the less we accept ourselves as a whole, regardless of what we are feeling and thinking and the circumstances we’re facing, the more difficult it is to find our footing to work toward resolving the issue(s). However, the more we embrace who we are (not what anyone wants us to be or look like or what society has pressured us into being), the more empowered we will feel. We will then be more likely to find our footing and identify which steps we need to take to combat those feelings, thoughts, or circumstances.

This book is meant to empower the reader by helping you to better understand the benefits of integrating the good and the bad about yourself into the whole you and not to feel ashamed of it. It will also help you understand that having uncomfortable feelings or thoughts and facing unexpected or discouraging circumstances are appropriate as well. I see it as unfortunate that some people try as hard as they do to suppress, deny, reject, or abandon what they see happening or how they feel. If they embraced it then they would be being able to take practical, necessary steps to resolve whatever is going on with them. Is it possible? Absolutely. Do these steps I present require as much effort as necessary to conquer the situation or ensure the problems is resolved? Yes. Embracing those thoughts, feelings, and circumstances does it mean that you should go out and celebrate because you’re going through those issues or situations. Absolutely not. However, by embracing them, you have been able to identify what the problem is and that you are willing to do something constructive or take necessary steps to resolve it. How about some people who do acknowledge, accept, or embrace their circumstances, but fail to take steps required to fix them? Don’t you think that embracing them and taking actions go hand in hand? I understand that it’s complicated and very challenging to want to embrace unfavorable circumstances or uncomfortable feelings, and it is a process. If we all try harder, we will get there sometime eventually. It’s never too late to start embracing.

We face multiple challenges, both expected and unexpected, as we move from one developmental stage to the other as identified and elaborated by Eric Erickson (Erickson 1994). In a nutshell, Eric Erickson (June 15, 1902–May 12, 1994) was an American-German psychologist who expanded on Sigmund Freud’s original five stages of development and stressed how our environment played a significant role in self-awareness, adjustment, human development, and identity. It is important to understand that these challenges can occur during a time in our lives when they ease the turmoil we would experience. It is better to embrace the nature and reality of the circumstances we face instead of burying our heads in the sand and pretending they’re not happening. It is 100 percent OK to feel emotional about every challenge we face, such as losing a loved one, losing your job, being diagnosed with medical or mental health issues, being separated from your partner, getting divorced, or having weight issues. No one’s life is perfect or whole, and even if you have not been through any of the circumstances I identified above, someone close to you may have gone through one or more of them. How you deal with each situation matters to you and everyone around you.