Befriending The Storm

I was born in May 1969. I am the fith oldest of seven children. My parents struggled to support my siblings and I. Growing up I was part of children raising children my parent's were very young. As a out of control child I received many spankings but not enough to have a great impact on my decision making. Eight years old my two oldest brother's and I broke into a lumber yard and set off the alarm as we were making our way out I dropped a old wallet that had my photograph inside. This should have been a sign to obey my parents this was 1977 and one of many theft events that lead me into foster care. This was the beginning of my so called criminal life. My brother and I were caught and taken away from our parents and put into foster homes. I started out in Lula a which was a big orchard with all types of fruit I picked apples, grapes, peaches and lots of other fruit's. I think about my family a lot then one morning I get out of bed I'm really home sick and at this time I have been grounded from riding my bicycle so it is chained up. Out side I find a girls bicycle and I ride the bike from Alto to Hull almost 20 miles or so I remind you I'm only eight years old. I ride my heart out until I arrive at my grandmother house and just so happens my mother and siblings are with her. Mom loads the bike into her car and we go to her house on mountainveiw rd. Once we arrive at home the case worker over my well being comes to pick me up like he knew I would come there, after a lot of crying and hugging I am on my way back to Alto. I really have no clue as to who God is at this time we were never taught about God back then. I arrive back in late afternoon and of course I'm grounded again and I sit outside thinking why life is so bad. I have been here around six months at the time and one weekend my brother cones and visits for the weekend he also is in a foster home. We play and talk we have a tire swing so me being mean I cut the rope enough to break and when my brother is swinging I push hard and fast until it breaks and he fly’s through the air. I laugh and he almost crys and catches himself then starts laughing about it and again I realize how much I miss everyone. A couple of weeks later I go to school and I'm really down the lady over the home I live in told me I would never get to go home after I run away. At school I tell the teacher I'm sick so they call some one to come pick me up. After arriving at home everyone goes back to whatever they started out doing I go to my bedroom and take some matches out and strike one once it is burning I hold it to a sheet until it catches a flam and starts burning. I go outside and jump on the trampoline until I hear fire trucks and they pull into the yard to put out the fire I was asked if I knew how the fire started and I lied and said no. Losing was so natural for me in my childhood. One of the hardest parts of being away from my family was while i was on the trampoline my mind set was I will get to go home because of the fire, I'm really believing this as a broken hearted child . As I sit here and think back on all of the past events I'm really heart broken and hurt with sadness I think of what a preacher said to me one day, he says that your mother an father who conceive you are not always the parents who raise you. Then I think about my step daughter that God choose me to be part of her life. God gave me love for her and placed me in her path, so she could have a man to guide her and it taught me to be a father. We both had a lot of the same issues and she choose me from the start. I was looking back to the day I set the fire there was a lady God choose to raise me and she was like a mother to me. That afternoon I'm moved to another foster home which I only stay for a few days until I'm moved to yet another foster home at this time my birthday has came around and now I'm at the age of nine. Once I arrive at my new foster home, the dad of the house is a preacher in Flowery Branch. he is really strick about everything. We are ordered to go to church and as i can remember i have never been to church and i don't like my new home so one night I go into my room while everyone is watching T.V. and once again I set my bed on fire. I go out the back door to the preachers brothers house and in a short time I am found then everyone is asking me question's. Why did I set the house on fire, I really don't know why except that I do not like it here and then they ask? If I set the first house on fire I deny it but they know I did it. Its around 12:00 am midnight and now I'm being taken to boys home , which is a youth home for troubled boy's and girl's.