Next Level Marriage
Planning For An Uncommon Marriage
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Marriage <> Him + Her I need to be a little careful here as this statement could be seen as a little controversial, more today than ever before. At any rate, if the idea of marriage was a math equation, the common response would be that marriage equates to him plus her. Marriage equates to her plus him. Marriage equals the two individuals becoming one. While this idea sounds good because it’s normal and we hear it so often, there’s obviously something missing based upon the average results we find. Let’s talk about those results for a second. The average marriage ends in divorce. We’re told that 50% or so end in divorce. We hear it all the time. That would mean that divorce is as common as marriage is. However, I’d like to paint a different picture for you to consider. Let’s put the 50% of marriages that end in divorce to the side for a moment and think only of the 50% that don’t end in divorce. Of that 50%, how many would you say are happily married? It’s a normal assumption that the 50% that remain are happily married. While I’ve not found a stat on this percentage, it doesn’t change the idea. There is a large number who are married but are unhappy. Keep in mind, people who fall into the divorce category today were once in the married, but unhappy category yesterday. Answer the following questions: 1 – Do you know anyone who’s been divorced? 2 – Do you know people who are married? 3 – How about people who are married that you don’t think will be in the next few years? 4 – Do you know any couples who’ve been married more than 20 years? 5 – Of those married twenty years or more, do you know any who are happily married? 6 – If you could model your marriage after someone that has been married 30 years or more, who would it be? These questions are not to test your knowledge of people, but to demonstrate how much more difficult it becomes when asked to identify a good marriage versus one that’s failed or is failing. It’s this idea that leads me to believe that marriage takes more than her plus him or him plus her. Therefore, marriage doesn’t equal him plus her. There must be something missing from this equation.
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About the Book
If you were allowed to sit in on a couples coaching session with us, what follows is a brief description of the five sections covered: Understanding the Relationship Life Cycle A relationship goes through cycles. Knowing this provides a clue to how a couple can prepare for the upcoming cycles and how to cycle-proof one’s marriage. Defining The Intent of Marriage This section covers why two people should desire to bring their lives together appropriately and define a purpose for the marriage. Getting To Know Your 7 Levels of Relationships Relationships can be summed up in seven classifications which give a couple a way to brace for how each relationship level directly impacts a marriage. Redefining LOVE: Do We Really Love Each Other? The biggest mistake made is assuming one understands what love is and what it means to be loved. Clearing up this natural assumption is a key to having success in marriage. Putting It All Together The last step we take is helping the couple put it all together, from ceremony to keeping their marriage healthy for years to come.
About the Author
Kerry A. Clark is an author, speaker, Christian life coach, information systems & technology professional, platform builder and project manager. While serving in a key leadership role of a local church plant, he completed his degree at The University of Alabama and began a career in information systems & technology. Following this, he served as a media director and later in an administrative executive role. He has managed projects which established multi-site ministry campuses, constructed a multimilliondollar private school, as well as held a position on the board of directors of another, and served as a subject-matter expert for multimillion-dollar revenue generating billing systems in the telecommunications industries. Using principles acquired in business, he helps individuals, organizations, and platforms get to the next level. He lives outside of Birmingham, Alabama with his wife, Pamela, and daughter, Tamia.