God Doesn’t Waste a Thing

One day I wandered down to the prison chapel. I wasn’t sure what I was hoping to accomplish once I got there; I just knew I needed to go there. It was that day that I met Chaplain Ty, who took about thirty minutes and listened to me complain and explain my frustrations with my situation and what I was going through. I remember telling Ed God was not present in my situation and that He did not care one bit about me and my future. This inspired Ty to open his Bible to Job and walk me through the sections where Job was doing lots of complaining of his own. After I felt validated and like I was correct, Ty moved us into chapter 38, where God began to question Job. This part of the conversation was not as much fun for me. Our meeting ended with Ty suggesting I meet Chaplain Craig and said he would be a much better person for me to chat with. I told him I would love to do that, and he said he would make sure Craig comes and finds me the next time he gets a chance. I am truly thankful for Chaplain Ty. I am also honored he took the time to speak to me and be my first interaction with the church at SQSP, but I am even more thankful he told me about Chaplain Craig as I began to keep my eyes open for this man.
Getting in to see Craig was difficult because the hours I taught GED were the same hours he worked down in the chapel, and I did not have enough experience in the facility to ask for “days off” or favors. One day I’m in the education building teaching, when I look out the window and I see this man with khakis and a black leather jacket on walking around. I know this is not a guard as he is clearly not dressed like an inmate. In my gut, I felt the urge to go chat with him. I asked my boss if I could step out for a bit, and she said of course, and twenty seconds later, I am shaking hands with the man who will have had the greatest impact on my life, other than my father, on this earth. Craig Ryan took the time to stop for me, to listen to me, and to care about me. After a quick chat with my boss, Craig informed me he had arranged for me to come to the chapel every Wednesday after the noon lockdown. These were times when he and I would sit and go over anything on my mind. If he only knew what he was getting himself into with that offer. I would show up with my notebook and the Bible he had given me, and I would pepper him with questions for hours on end. Not one time did he ever not answer one of them or tell me to stop.
It was in those moments I began to see a man in front of me who lived focused on God and sharing His Word with others. I knew I wanted what he had: an inner peace, a confidence in his identity, and a true love for Jesus.
While sitting in Chap’s eight-foot-by-ten-foot office for hours on end, I started to sense a calling to unload a tremendous burden. I didn’t quite know what it was, and even worse, I didn’t know how to deal with it. Chaplain Craig challenged me to go back to my cell, sit with my feelings, and write down all the guilt, burdens, sins, and secrets I was holding on to. He explained these were areas Satan was using to attack me and keep me from joy and true freedom. The next Wednesday, I walked into his office with my list in hand, and I sat down, and he looked at me and asked if I was ready to experience a breakthrough. Craig pulled a three feet tall wooden Cross off the cabinet in his office and set it down in the middle of the floor between the two of us. He asked me if I was ready to cast my burdens on the One who is capable to carry them for me while freeing me from the guilt. I began to read my list out loud, and Craig helped me take each one of them to God’s courtroom and set them at the foot of the Cross. That day, I laid down guilt, lust, past relationships, secrets, ties to the devil, distorted thoughts, anger, and anxiety to name a few. As I sat there in tears, I felt a weight being lifted off my shoulders. Craig led me in a prayer to receive the work Jesus did on the Cross and accept Jesus as my Savior into my heart.
God doesn’t waste a thing.