Poems, Prayers & Praise

THE GRAVE

“So also is the resurrection of the dead. The body is sown in corruption, it is raised in incorruption. It is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness, it is raised in power. It is sown in a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body.” (I Corinthians
15:47)

Nothing rocks us to our core like death. Death is the equalizer of humanity; we all must come to terms with it. No matter how great or successful you are, death has a way of humbling us and making us realize how little we control in this life. My first encounter with death would be the death of a child. Angela was born with Spina Bifida and had many medical issues which would leave her with chest down paralysis and many other complex medical problems as a result of it. But when she died in her sleep, a few weeks before her eighth birthday, there would be no comfort in this world for my soul. I became familiar with the “valley of the shadow of death” and for a while, didn’t know if I would ever come out of it.
Years later, when my mother passed away, I again walked through a dark and lonely time. Death is never a visitor that you want to come, but it is one of those things we all will face as we get older. When my daughter died in her sleep, I couldn’t understand why then? I had carried her in the womb, knowing about her disabilities prior to her birth, secretly praying for God to cause me to miscarry, but that never happened. I was told she would be born with a very high lesion on her spine which would cause her to be paralyzed, and she already had a very severe curved spine and hydrocephalus (water on the brain). All of this was too much to think about, so I just prayed for God’s will; surely, he didn’t want me to have a child so malformed. But death would not come for her for many years. She lived for almost eight years, and during this time, I realized that not everyone had the same definition of “normal.” My normal involved taking care of a very medically fragile child. But I learned to realize how wonderful it was to be her mom. She was special in every way and could light up a room. I’ve included some of my poetry about Angela in this section to memorialize her. I have also included poetry written after the deaths of my mother, my pastor, and my best friend.
As we all face death in some way or another, we learn to move on with our lives in the absence of that special person who is no longer with us. The peace that God gives us in these circumstances is from knowing that death is not final; there is more. How wonderful our God is to give have given us this time with these special loved ones. This year I lost my pastor of many years. He died at 44 years old; it was devastating to an entire church community. I don’t understand why this happened, but I know that I will see him again. There is hope, even in death, because of the cross. The way has been made for us all to enter into the kingdom of heaven. So, although I grieve…I also rejoice that I know that death is not the end.



The Grave

In quietness of earth, she lies
So still beneath my feet
I say a silent prayer…
Oh, grave, you bring such misery
But here I am again
To Mourn

The grass is growing now
The grave is not so new
But I still remember
A better time and place
When she was more
Then just a memory
Marked by a stone

Life goes on and on
Yet time has stopped for me
As I sit here by a tree
My life so intertwined
With this grave

Yet death can never take
What she gave to me
And I know that her life
Has forever changed mine
And beyond this grave
She lives