Chapter 16 pgs 165 &168
For what I have gone through, I have no reason to not praise God. I am happy and should always be smiling. Every now and then I feel a little discouraged and I had to remind myself that things could have been so much different. I could have passed off from this earth and left my family behind. I could have been in a vegetative state while my family watched me suffer; but the grace of God came through for me and I realized that such grace is enough.
I realized that what I experienced was a test of God and that such test is my testimony of his goodness and his mercies towards us. From day to day before I begin each day, I ask God to be with me every step of my daily journey and to help me so that I will not falter. I know that when I pray to him that he will make himself reachable to me when I need him, and he will meet my needs. “God never slumbers nor sleep and that he is always accessible” (Barker, Burdick & Stek, Wessel, Youngblood et al., (2002), Psalms 121:3-4, p. 870-1).
From this day on I must hold on to his grace and his mercy knowing that he will always be there for me when I need him, and I know that whatever he says he will do he will. I know that he will continue to be there for me and all I must do is just to put my faith and trust and belief in him. I know that my God is awesome because I was broken, and he healed me. As the songwriter sings “my God is awesome he heals me when I am broken, gives me strength when I am weak, hides me from the rain, he is awesome, awesome” (Charles Jenkins My God is Awesome CD www.youtube.com. https://youtu.be/_J4vddbJJo). So, I know for sure he is an awe-inspiring God.
He proved to me each day with every breath I take that he is awe-inspiring and if we just allow him into our hearts we can and will see how remarkable he is. When God has done something, such as healing me and bringing me to where I am today there is no need not to praise him every minute of the day. Sometimes God does say so but only he can say that. We many times do not understand why he does the things he does and get upset when he does not answer our prayers in the way that we want him to.
Whether or not he answers the way we like we have so much to be grateful for and I tell you this because I know I do. He restored the strength to my left side, and I was able to walk again on my own, I can speak without my speech sound muffled. I am alert and aware and not lethargic as before. I can travel on my own, I can drive, and my driver’s licence was not suspended. He is certainly in the miracle working business.
Sometimes you ask God for something, and he gives you something else. Maybe what you prayed for was not right for you at the time and God gives you what he believes is right for you. Sometimes because of other people praying and fasting you can see miracles happening in your lives. The thought of taking your next breath and waking up in the morning is enough to give him praise and be thankful for his blessings and a reason not to be ungrateful for not getting you what you prayed for.
We wake up every morning thinking that God is obligated to give us life and another day added unto our lives. We are so unappreciative of this blessed opportunity. Lord, I beg your forgiveness because at times I know I fall in this category, and I too am sometimes ungrateful. God I know that I am weak and I thank you for being the God you are or else I would not be here today. I am happy that you “are a God of second change, and you gave me a second chance like only you can” (Hezekiah Walker –Second Chance https://youtu.be/gLWF).
After having a stroke with total left sided deficit, with the inability to use the left side and with distorted speech nothing fazed her. When you are not able to go to the toilet by yourself, you are no longer able to walk, not able to talk, and being stuck in a wheelchair and using a walker to try to mobilize is a devastating feeling. You have no idea how one feels when the doctor says you have an illness such as a tumour and to know it is something in your brain there is no telling the impact it had on ones life and you mental capacity. Having brain surgery after a brain tumour diagnosis, the after effect is insurmountable. Any number of things could go wrong during this type of surgery.
All types of emotion play in your head. The amount of stress you go through, but you just can’t give up because if God has a hand in it, you will get yours and rise to the occasion. As humans we tend not to believe something unless we have seen it with our own two eyes. Prayer can move mountains and can open any door, regardless of how long it takes. Don’t give up because you fail at every turn. Sometimes you must do it a thousand times before you get it. You must crawl before you work, so stand tall, go, open another door, and rise to the occasion. God is in control.