The Rocks of the Cross

The Purpose This book shares the experiences and commentaries of many fathers and mothers traversing the trauma of divorce and the pain of child custody battles. This book is not intended to nor is its purpose to render legal advice. It is a novel based on a true story. I pray The Rocks of the Cross serves to guide mothers and fathers to remain engaged in the lives of their children. It is also my prayer, as this book is inspired by my unwavering faith and love for Christ, that it serves to edify your lives and those of your children so that each of you as mothers and fathers, see firsthand how the impact of your words, decisions or lack thereof, affect the lives of those the Lord has entrusted to you for a short while. This book is born out of a desire to inspire and enlist mothers and fathers in the solemn roles they have in the lives of their children. This book is also God’s deep desire placed in my heart to write it and share it with you, and hopefully, you will incorporate it to your lives and make a difference in the lives of your children. Divorce creates havoc; it is a difficult process to endure. It dismantles every piece of a marriage that took time and effort to build. Both parties experience this hardship firsthand as they are the parties seeking it. But far more is suffered by the children of the dissolving marriage. Children already suffer collateral damage in a separation, even in the most of amicable of cases. It is not just the fact of not seeing Mom and Dad together sharing the same house, but seeing them now apart, visiting them at their own respective residences. The Rocks of the Cross has two purposes: (1) to show how important a civilized, commonsense approach taken by both sides during divorce and custody discussions is critical to reducing the friction and stress factors, most specially on the children; and (2) to show the impact that it causes when the opposite takes place. I am referring to the additional stress brought to bear on these children as a result of one parent seeking the alienation of the minor from the other parent. Absentee parenting by either parent is a catastrophic failure of exponential proportions. In general, it is tragic to see to what extent divorce harms children. It is far more than a simple divide between two people who at one time shared at least a common love, the child. Being a parent, I believe, is the highest calling we receive from God. It is an ordination by the Creator. To be entrusted with a creation gifted to you is a miracle and privilege. That bundle of joy, His creation, bring their life plans from Him, and you should be delighted to be part of that journey and not do anything to obstruct it from becoming a reality. No responsible or loving parent will use their child as an instrument of battle in a divorce to advance their desire to remove the other parent from the life of a child. Anyone willing to use a minor in the awful conflict of divorce or custody dispute should be stripped of their custody. A child has a right, a God-given right, to have a mother and father in his or her life. It took the two of you to create one. Do not strip a child of those two valuables assets in his or her life. A child does not belong to you—a child belongs to God. Anyone entrusted with the labor of love of being a parent, doing what is in the best interest of the child, engaging “both parents,” should be applauded. Such a task is the most noble position we hold in our lives; it serves as a clear display of who is better equipped to place the best interest of the child ahead of his or her personal interest or gains. But what a child cannot have is the abusive manipulation or desertion of a parent at the expense of the other, working to remove the other parent from the life of their child. Through the eyes and experiences of Paul, he brings to light the difficult journey children and parents go through in a divorce. The book exposes the magnitude of the trauma on the minor and on the alienated parent who fall victims to the destructive and divisive behavior of the alienator. The Rocks of the Cross also takes you through the pitfalls, the manipulation of facts, the staging of events to give an illusion of malice, as well as the trials and tribulations. And, yes, the many nights and days of supplication and kneeling in prayer to the Lord that many parents experience far too often. During all this chaos, prayer is the only answer. I want to bring a voice to those children and parents experiencing interference with their time together. There is a concept known as parental alienation or parental interference. I encourage you to read on those subjects and become educated. This story will take you into the boiling waters of that epidemic, it will give you a view and feel of what is to be on the inside, and the desperation oftentimes felt by parents in that situation that may consider quitting under the tremendous stress brought to bear. But as Paul will show us in this story, do not quit. The hand of God will sustain those going through this difficult ordeal. And your child will be grateful to you one day.