Embracing Unfair Situations

What do you do when you're faced with a problem that is completely out of your control?

Things aren't supposed to be this way. This isn't how you pictured any of it.

You feel like your whole life is crumbling and you're desperately trying to grab all the pieces as they fall apart around you. But no matter how hard you try you can't put them back together. It's just completely out of your hands and not something you can fix. So, there you are, crippled inside brokenness that used to be a fulfilling life, gripping onto the remains and wishing they were whole again.

I tend to have a fixer personality so even being left in a situation I couldn't fix, I still searched for areas inside the situation that I could. And the area that I knew was completely in my control was how I responded to this situation.

Still crying on my living room floor, I decided I had two options. I could allow this situation to leave me feeling worthless, broken, and nothing but a throw-away person. Or I could use this pain to make myself stronger and better. I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to stay on the floor a bit longer and feel sorry for myself and allow all those negative thoughts consume my mind until I was numb. Until I hated myself and every part of my life. But I knew what I should do.

So, I got up off the floor and decided I wasn't going to live that way. I wasn't going to let any ounce of pain be wasted and I was going to find a way to turn this bitter situation into one that would be a beautiful story full of hope, restoration, and faith. I wanted God to be the Victor in this story and have proof that in amongst the ashes of a broken life, He made something more beautiful rise up. And everyone who witnessed what happened and saw how I pulled through would know that God had to have been there.

I kept repeating to myself, "I can be bitter or better. I choose better. I choose better. I choose better."

- - -

That could be your story too. You may be in the middle of a dark season and it might feel like it'll never get better, things will never feel okay again, and you have no clue how to even move forward. I've been there. I've felt that emotion so many times.

But darkness doesn't mean there isn't light ahead.

You just have to keep moving and keep persevering. It's a hard mental battle to fight your way out of that darkness and strip that pain, but thankfully you don't have to do it alone.

Lean into God, trust Him to supply your need. I'm sure you've heard that so often and maybe you're even frustrated with it because it seems to be the typical Christian thing to say. "Trust God!" and then they walk away pretending like that is always so easy to do. I'll be honest, it wasn't always easy. I had no idea where He was taking me or why He was walking me through this season. I still don't. And there's so many things I question.

If you like to be in control, which if you're a woman reading this then I'm assuming you do. Let's be honest, lady, we all like to control situations a little too much at times. Then it might feel even more challenging to always give up that control and trust God. Especially when you have no vision of what is ahead. You're not sure where you're supposed to go or what move to make next. You're just in the backseat of a car with a blindfold on. That stresses me out just to type that scenario. No thank you. I want to see and maybe give you advice on the best route to take.

And the hardest thing is when God tells us to tread water and wait. Umm, what? Me? A woman. Tread water and wait? No, no, we're doers and fixers. We can't wait around. But if we must, then can we at least make a snack to enjoy or have some sort of activity or chore to work on? Do You need me to organize anything while You have me wait here? Or can I make some suggestions on a faster, more efficient plan?

Have you had similar conversations with God? I feel like I'm constantly giving God suggestions on my preferred outcome and asking for Him to use me in some way while I wait for Him to move. It's called being impatient and having trust issues. And I struggle with both of those a lot!

But ultimately, we do have to find a way to trust God. We may not know what He's doing or how He's going to pull us out. But in order to survive, we have to find a way to remain hopeful that He will show us eventually. Restoration will come and life will be good again.