The House Relationships Built

Values form around your experiences. For example, has someone ever lied to you and it hurt? Then you because of that, you may have a top value of honesty because of it, which is a good value. to have. Then there are other times when people value things like pride, money, or power, which also come from ideals and experiences. The Bible is clear about the dangers of pride, money, and power. They may seem good to the person in the moment and in this life, but at what cost? Holding true to these types of values won’t bring you fulfillment or joy. They generally exist because of fear. I know, that may not make sense to you now, but pride is triggered when you feel attacked or threatened. It’s also exerted when you lack self-confidence to mask those insecurities. Valuing money generally comes from a fear of not having it. Some haveIt’s a dependency on money for security. Once again, fear of not having it can make it valuable to you. Power is no different. Power seekers are searching for control. Why do you feel the need to control something if you don’t fear what could happen if you weren’t in control? If you deal with your fears, then you then can replace your values with other values based on Christ’s likeness.

I challenge you to identify your top five values. Those top five values will tend to flare up feelings of frustration or even anger when someone violates them. Pay attention to this. Your anger may just reveal your true values. For example, when someone’s talk doesn’t match their walk, it tends to anger me. Therefore, integrity is one of my top values.

It’s important to take an honest look at your values. Don’t just pick what feels good or what you believe they should be. Honestly identify what things you defend the most for whatever reason.

When you violate your own values, feelings of shame tend to arise rather than anger. It’s important to work through those things quickly. The idea is to acknowledge it. Examine why you violated them to learn from it going forward and forgive yourself for the violation. Everybody makes mistakes. The Bible tells us that no one is without sin or mistakes. But holding on to unforgiveness toward yourself is just as unproductive as holding on to unforgiveness toward someone else, if not more. Always look for the lesson so that the next time the same or similar situation arises, you can recall what you’ve learned to hopefully not repeat it again. But if you do, keep looking for the lesson and patterns. You will eventually catch your triggers early enough to respond differently in those moments.