Reconciliation: Finding Peace with God and Others

Introduction

Tears streamed down my face as I realized what had just happened. How could it be that the person I depended on let me down? Would I ever see them again? I could not imagine life without my friend. I was angry and hurt. The same experience occurs to many people every day. They experience loss, uncertainty, and betrayal.
My heart was sad as someone shared their experience with me. The person explained why she had not talked to her daughter in over twenty-five years. My immediate thoughts were to ensure that something like this would never happen to me, as I love my children so much. I could not imagine what would create such distance in a relationship between a mother and her daughter. It was hard for me to understand.
Unfortunately, these things happen every day. Our words or our actions tear relationships apart. Time is lost forever between people, and relationships become nonexistent. Sometimes, friends and relatives create pain in our lives. We feel lost, lonely, sad, angry, and even bitter and hateful toward those causing pain. We often think we can avoid them, believing it will alleviate the pain. But the pain remains forever unless we confront it. In this book, we will attempt to answer these and other questions about reconciliation:
1. Is it possible to get beyond such pain?
2. What if I forgive the person and want to reconcile the relationship?
3. What does it mean to reconcile with someone who has hurt me?
4. What does the Bible say about reconciling relationships?
5. What happens if I try to reconcile the relationship, but they refuse?
6. What are the benefits of reconciling relationships?
7. How can I get beyond the hurts and move on with my life?
There are many ways to look at reconciliation. The following pages take a biblical perspective on the subject. In the first chapter, we identify some definitions of reconciliation and endeavor to understand its meaning. We look closely at the biblical definition and examples of reconciliation from the Bible. We must comprehend how God sees reconciliation to understand and get beyond our pains. The chapter examines biblical references on reconciliation, scriptures identifying our responsibility for reconciliation, and other sources approaching the topic. Understanding the meaning of reconciliation is vital before we delve deeper into principles and methods.
The second chapter discusses the need and remedy for reconciliation from a biblical perspective. We discuss our reconciliation with God. Understanding reconciliation with God is necessary to comprehend how to reconcile and find peace with others who offend us. The chapter expounds on how to fill the gap between us and others, salvation, faith, and intimacy with God.
The third chapter delves into overcoming obstacles and barriers that prevent reconciliation. Understanding what could prevent reconciliation from occurring in our lives is essential. These pages identify typical obstructions and ways to overcome them.
The fourth chapter discusses the process of reconciliation. Critical items in this section include four steps toward reconciling relationships and additional tips for reconciliation based on my personal experiences. Our lives will be miserable, and we will live in bondage to these pains if we cannot move forward and beyond them.
The fifth chapter discusses different types of benefits linked to reconciliation. First, there is a discussion on relational benefits. After this, we discuss spiritual benefits. The last two sections of the chapter reveal physical and mental benefits that stem from reconciliation. There are many practical benefits included in these sections.
The sixth chapter talks about choosing to reconcile relationships and how we can move forward. The chapter has seven steps to finding peace when physical reconciliation is impossible. After this, we discuss picking up the pieces, moving forward, and where we go from here. The chapter concludes with five daily practices to move forward to finding peace.
The seventh chapter wraps up key points from all the previous chapters. It is easy to forget what we read. These pages will be valuable for reviewing all the significant items presented earlier and offer a quick reference tool for readers. I hope these pages are helpful as you reflect on how God is working in your life and find reminders to move forward.
At the end of each chapter, you will find a case study and questions for deeper discussion and development. Small groups and individuals alike will enjoy these. What good is it if we read information but never apply it to our lives? It is worthless. I pray that this book is helpful as you confront reconciliation concerns that have been bogging you down. I pray that as you read these pages, you will find time to converse with God and find peace whether or not you are physically capable of reconciling with those who have offended you. May God give each of us a servant’s heart, full of His love for others. May we exhibit the attitude and character of Jesus to the hurting world around us. May we all find peace.
Chapter One
A Biblical Perspective of Reconciliation
I remember my first experience with reconciliation as a young teen. It is a vivid and pleasant memory. My local church was gathering with other denominational congregations for an annual inspirational meeting. I enjoyed attending these meetings as they were very informational and inspired me in many ways. I heard the speaker preach about reconciliation and forgiving people who have wronged us. At the close of the time together, the preacher stopped speaking, and it was quiet momentarily. He then spoke about how broken relationships hinder God’s work and our relationship with the Father. At that point, he challenged each group member to forgive and reconcile broken relationships with people in the room.