Confessions of a Preacher's Wife

Preview of Confessions of a Preacher’s Wife It is easy to understand why women are often attracted to the preacher. Every woman on the planet would want a caring, loving, good, and kind man. A man who preaches the Gospel is the epitome of all those qualities. Those admiring women rarely, if ever, sees the preacher in anything but an ideal situation. She never sees him lose his temper, never sees him be impatient, never sees him complain about what you are or are not doing, never sees him throw his dirty clothes on the floor or leave you a mess to clean up. She never knows if he forgets his wife’s birthday or anniversary, and the list goes on. What is not to love about this amazing creature that speaks such wonderful words to her from behind the pulpit every week, he is a dream come true. To top it off, she is sure his wife does not fully appreciate him as much as she would. His wife treats him like he is just human, but she knows he is so much more than that. A man can become vulnerable when a woman shows him this kind of adoration. After all his wife barely said good morning when she rolled out of bed. Then there is the enemy of God who would love nothing better than to destroy anyone who is bringing down the strongholds of the powers of darkness. If the enemy can take down one of God’s generals, there is a good chance he can take down many more with him. So, men of God have a target on their back. We need to hold them up in prayer and pray for the family of these men of God. It doesn’t seem to be the same problem when a woman is in ministry, but anything is possible. On several occasions Steve was asked to come to Jamaica to preach. He enjoyed the people, the culture, and their openness to the Gospel. During one ministry trip he was staying in the home of a local pastor. The pastor’s wife was a nurse and worked all day but would come home in the evening and cook a feast for her husband and Steve. For some reason the wife did not join them at the table but continued scurrying around the kitchen working and serving the men. The husband seemed oblivious to his wife’s hard work and exemplary culinary skills, but Steve let the wife know that her meals were exceptionally delicious, and he also expressed his appreciation for all her labors. When it was time for Steve to leave, the wife cried and asked Steve if she could have one of his tee shirts. If only men knew that a little appreciation can go a long way. A situation I mentioned earlier comes to mind. When I was single and drove those nine ex drug addicts from New York City to our little church in McKeesport, Pennsylvania, we had a problem. A young woman who was married with children would sit on the front row with eyes glued to Luis. After the service the woman would dart to him and monopolize him. Sister Bea was watching all this and asked me to step in, after all, I was single and unattached. When the service was over, I headed toward Luis, but she got there before me and she looked at me as if to say, ‘Go away.’ Of course, I stayed and was very friendly to Luis. She was obviously angry, but I knew I could outwait her because I didn’t have to be anywhere that evening. When she finally left, Luis said to me, “Roberta I know what you are doing, and I greatly appreciate it. She was beginning to get to me.” He told me she had been writing him notes. It is hard to believe that a woman who calls herself a Christian would do something like she did, but I witnessed it with my own eyes. The husband she had at home probably had not done a fraction of the things these former drug addicts had done. Yes, they were forgiven but her imperfect husband can also be forgiven. While speaking at a ladies retreat one time, I talked about people who say they have a love for the prisoners and would like to have a prison ministry. Yet, God gave them one person to love, their spouse, and they struggle with that. Of course, it is easy to love the prisoner because he never did anything to you. He didn’t beat you half to death, rob you, rape you, or kill someone you love while he was drunk and driving. If it wasn’t done to you, of course you can love them. The chances are that your spouse hasn’t come close to doing any of those things, yet you have trouble loving him. After the service, the pastor’s wife told me that the lady sitting in the front row feels she has a call to the prison ministry, but at the same time she is considering divorcing her husband. Instead of looking longingly at someone else’s garden, it is far better to cultivate our own garden. In most cases, it is possible to develop a similar or more beautiful garden than the one we long for on the other side of the fence.