How Can You Be So Calm?

On September 24, 2022, I was walking our dogs in our neighborhood and began to feel a sharp pain in my upper back every time I took a breath. The pain was severe enough to not ignore, and I asked my wife Debbi to take me to the local hospital emergency room. I was tested for a heart attack (negative), a stroke (negative) and then had a CT scan, which revealed I had a saddle pulmonary embolism (PE), which is a blood clot that becomes lodged where the main pulmonary artery divides and branches to the right and left lungs. I was told "This is very serious - a saddle pulmonary embolism can kill you", given a double dose of blood thinner, released, and told to make an appointment with a hematologist ASAP. Saddle PEs are very rare, accounting for only 2% of all PEs. Studies have shown that 25% of people who develop a saddle PE die instantly, and another 30% die within 3 months. Good grief! I had one of those "life flashes before your eyes" moments. When I was a kid, a rattlesnake struck at me and I jumped back just enough that it missed. I was hit broadside by a Buick while riding my motorcycle and walked away from the accident. I fell asleep driving in college and totaled my vehicle, again walking away and receiving only a few stitches. I felt like I had again just been missed by a runaway truck! The next day we called to make an appointment with my primary care physician because we knew it was necessary to be referred to a specialist. Three days later, when we got to her office, we were told we would meet with one of her staff, a P.A. (Physician’s Assistant). He looked at the emergency room records and listened to our account of events and repeated “this is very serious – a saddle pulmonary embolism can kill you”. We told him we would like to be referred to a hematologist in Granbury Debbi was familiar with. The P.A. said OK, but then added “if he can’t see you right away, give me a call and I know somebody I can contact who will.” Although I was nervous about having the pulmonary embolism, I really didn’t have any serious symptoms – no pain, no trouble breathing, and no difficulty doing normal things like walking the dogs or driving. We called the hematologist’s office and was told he was on vacation and the soonest we could get an appointment was October 12. We couldn’t believe it! Two different doctors had just told us “This can kill you – get to a specialist right away.” We called the P.A. as he had recommended and were told by the office nurse to leave a message, and he would call us back. Now we were really getting frustrated. When the P.A. called us back, he referred us to a hematologist in the same hospital system as my primary care doctor and we called right away to make an appointment. We were politely told the soonest we could get an appointment would be some time in November. We decided to stick with the October appointment with the hematologist in Granbury. Tension was high at our house. Frustration was high. We were upset because we had been told repeatedly how serious and dangerous my condition was, then told to wait. But the silver lining was that I was not in the morgue where 25% of people go immediately, I was not in I.C.U. where most people are admitted immediately, I was not even in a hospital, and I was not in any pain. Debbi was so frustrated because we heard several medical professionals say the same thing – “This can be fatal, so you need to see a specialist immediately”, and she felt helpless. Debbi had lost her two previous husbands to cancer. She later told me she would put her hand on my chest several times during the night when I was sleeping to be sure I was still breathing.