Psalms of Freedom

I had already accepted “born that way” by the time I started to put a bigger effort into “praying it away.” I would find later that it would take more than just prayers to satisfy my longing and yearning to be right with God. It would take a great deal of faith and true hope. It would also take a deep understanding that I was not all bad. The spark that gave me a loving and caring heart came from God. I was just poisoned, and that God-given compassion was pointed in the wrong direction. The years of experiences had piled up in my mental storehouse and it was a dark, dusty, and scarry place. It was just easier to hastily throw things in there and quickly shut the doors before something spilled out into the daylight. But locked behind the doors was a scared little boy desperately trying to get out. It wasn’t an easy trial because it took real work to want to be more than I was and to be better than I was. If I looked at my predicament as an outside source trying to destroy me, I can logically conclude that I was under attack. What weapons did I have to defend myself? What stronghold did I stand behind to thwart off the fiery missiles pointed at my heart? What defense did I have in case of penetration? What were my contingency plans in case the first one, or the next two or three plans failed after that? What did I have to use against the enemy at the gates looking to steal and kill and destroy? All of these are easily answered with, “Jesus Christ.” I didn’t need to defend myself, because I was defended. I didn’t need a stronghold to hide behind, because Jesus went ahead of me and dismantled and decommissioned all the missiles and made them inoperable. I didn’t need contingencies because Jesus has One Way and that Way never returns void. The enemy cannot penetrate beyond the gates because Jesus holds the key and they cannot pass through. I am not taking the position that challenges the social norms of human sexual behavior. The Preface made it clear that I do not intend to condemn any group, organization, following, or individual. This is just a telling of my personal healing journey. It is perfectly fine if people chose to support and defend viewpoints that don’t agree with mine. For me, the topic is not up for debate. We all have been born with options to choose. I made choices that led me down a myriad of darkened roads, but I now choose to follow Jesus Christ, and through His unconditional love and with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I am on a new path and I have more joy in my life than I have ever had before. What I CAN say is … born that way? Yes, born that way so that is why I needed to be born again! When we face challenges in life, there is always a way to overcome. Facing a challenge alone can and does make the struggle that much more difficult. There is a way to make the trial a lot less challenging and a lot less stressful. God is there to carry us through. He can carry us through. He will carry us through. We just have to call upon Him and ask for His divine intervention. Relying fully upon the Lord brings victory and blessings into alignment. Sometimes we just don’t know the answer or the way out of situations because we are ignorant of where and how to look. I can look back on my personal victories and marvel about how I got through it. Still believing it was my doing. I came to the point where I was sick of being who I was. I would seek to escape and even with a firm determination to change; the old ways were taunting me to return using sweet lies and enticements.