Out of This World Leadership

Tip #7: Show Discipline Establish Your Boundaries A lot of us measure success by achievement (especially for someone like me who is an Achiever, according to the StrengthsFinder profile!). We are driven to work harder, faster, and smarter; log more hours; and sacrifice other pleasures. Many success-driven people arrive at their destination disillusioned and unfulfilled. At the root of the world's view of success is the insatiable quest for more. According to The New York Times on the Web, scientific research says, “Not only does having more things prove to be unfulfilling, but people for whom affluence is a priority in life tend to experience an unusual degree of anxiety and depression as well as lower overall level of well-being... Affluence, per se, does not necessarily result in an unsatisfying life. Problems are primarily associated with 'living a life where that's your focus.'” Affluenza can best be described as a painful, contagious, socially transmitted condition of overload, debt, anxiety, and waste resulting from the dogged pursuit of more. We now work more hours each year than do the citizens of any other industrial country, including Japan. In Japan, they have a term for “death by overwork” – Karoshi. In fact, 95% of American workers say they wish they could spend more time with their families. In Tip #5, you met my mentor, champion, and sponsor, Natalie Saiz. Several years ago, Natalie used the term “work-life fit” to characterize her support of employees’ life outside of NASA. “Balance”, she pointed out, was not appropriate. There are times in life when we need to provide more attention to our work, and other times when more attention is needed in the life side of the ledger. For me, “work-life fit” involves balancing my roles at work, home (as a husband & father of three kids), and church. If you have a family, like me, you know how quickly they grow up… Work Will Take As Much As You Give It I often tell people that work will take as much as you’re willing to give it. I’ve found that to be true at NASA, and that sentiment seems to resonate with just about everyone I talk to. As a result, you have to set guidelines and boundaries for your own work-life fit. No one can or should define that for you. If you’re in a leadership role, it’s important that you not impose your own values and choices on those you lead (e.g., not considering a young mom for an assignment requiring travel without a direct conversation with her, assuming she would rather stay home with family). Others you lead will undoubtedly have a different work-life fit from yours! At NASA, I would ask leaders, “How did your friends & family members respond the first time they heard that you work at NASA? How about others you meet for the first time (especially those who are not from Houston)?” The general response you often get went something like this, “You work at NASA?!?” As a long-time NASA employee, it was easy for us to forget where we worked…until we engaged with the public. It was a privilege to work side-by-side with astronauts, rocket scientists, engineers, and a bunch of great people doing cool things… It was also easy to get lost in your work. Occasionally, we needed to stop and consider where we were. As an employee of the Federal Government, we had to account for every hour of our time, so for my thirty years of federal service, I filled out a timesheet every day. When I talked with other NASA leaders, I would ask, “What does the ‘life’ side of your timesheet look like?” We certainly don’t have to fill out a “life timesheet” the same way we do our work timesheet, but isn’t it more important? Where is your quality time and energy going? Are you giving the highest priorities from personal mission the best and most time? These can be tough questions, but you need to constantly ask them, so you don’t have regrets later... In his book Anchor Man, Steve Farrar wrote that “the enemy loves to take Christian fathers and get their careers out of balance. Distraction creates distance; and distance is toxic to Christian fathers.” Farrar went on to point out that God expects fathers to “anchor” their families for at least 100 years, passing down values to succeeding generations. NASA is such an exciting place to work that you can easily get distracted—lost in your work and neglecting other things that are important to you in life. Unfortunately, I witnessed too many marriages and families sacrificed at NASA. On the flip side, there were many examples of people who figured out appropriate boundaries and managed their own work-life fit very effectively. For Jennifer (my wife of 27 years) and me, it was certainly our goal to model Proverbs 22:6 which says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” When a child understands his strengths and is encouraged in them, he will be fulfilled. That is a noble goal. One of life’s measuring sticks for my own success will be the choices my children make when they are on their own. Do they still seek God? Do they still value family? Are they fun to be around? These are important goals since our Family Mission Statement says we will strike a balance between Faith, Family, and Fun...