Joy Comes in the Mourning

Introduction

The title of this book is derived from Psalm 30:5 (NIV), which reads “For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night but rejoicing comes in the morning”. The New King James version of that verse uses the word endure instead of stay in terms of the weeping. The Cruz family has endured a lot of weeping but can attest that joy does eventually come. The topic for this book came about because of the multiple references Dr. Jay Feld, pastoral counselor and brother in Christ, made during some of our sessions. I started working with Jay two weeks before the passing of Hector, my beloved uncle, godfather, and friend. I will be presenting Uncle Hector’s story in the “Lord, Have Mercy on My Soul” chapter of this book.

Jay has quoted Romans 12:15 during many of our sessions, and it has become the theme of the very long season I have been in since my mother’s passing in December 2009. The verse says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn” (NIV). I have always rejoiced with those who rejoiced, but until I experienced the death of my mother, I didn’t really understand what true mourning was. Our family had lost our beloved cousin and her husband when they unexpectedly died in a car crash earlier that year; the event rocked our family. (The testimony of her siblings will be shared in “Restoring the Years That the Locusts Have Eaten” chapter later in the book.) To this day, I still cannot believe they are gone.

As I was preparing to gather the stories to feature in this book, I had been praying about writing and capturing all the thoughts and emotions that go into a book with such a profound theme. I thought about the original title I had decided on with Jay’s support, Mourn with Those Who Mourn. Last year, as I was interviewing my spiritual aunt, “Titi Nan” (who is featured in the “Wind beneath Birdie’s Wings” chapter), one of my ministry partners and mentors, about the loss of her husband, I disclosed the title of the book, which came from the key scripture Jay quoted in many of our counseling sessions. Titi Nan agreed that although we do mourn, joy comes in the morning, as Psalm 30:5 states; she and I talked about switching up the title to reflect that joy comes in the morning, which would be a more appropriate title for what I wanted to communicate throughout this book.

When I met with Jay next, we talk about joy coming in the mourning, a play on words but a very important one, I must add. Joy does come after we mourn, and sometimes it comes while we are mourning and during our mourning process. The grieving process is so different for each person; even within a family, we will see each member processing his or her sadness and hurt differently; and healing comes at different phases and stages of the process.
It took me months to reach out to a handful of close friends and family members to ask them to be coauthors of the book so they could tell their stories. Most of the people I approached said yes; they would either write one chapter of the book, telling their account about how joy came in the mourning, or they would allow me to interview them so I could write the story for them and feature their story in the book. Now it is almost a year after I approached some of my closest family and friends, some of whom I call my “board of trustees,” because they are so close to me. And they are there, front and center, with solid, godly counsel, encouragement, intercessory prayers, and a word of correction on occasion, too. The Holy Spirit yet again put me on pause and had me wait it out again. So, I stopped the process and waited for further direction.

A little over a year ago, in mid-March 2020, COVID-19 hit our world like no one expected, and the world pretty much was on pause along with me for the past seventeen months. Within this time span, so much had happened. So many people contracted the virus, and many folks in my circle have lost family members due to COVID-19. So in this year alone, the world has been in mourning—mourning people, mourning life as we knew it, and adjusting to a new normal, whatever that looks like (and it may look different for each of us). During this period, it has been a time of reflection, a time-out really, a do-over to ponder what and who is essential in life. It has been a time of solitude, and when we are alone, that is when God can really come in; we can hear His voice loud and clear when that is the only voice speaking. God can now give clearer direction in my life. I have had time to reflect on the stories I wanted others to share and switch it up again to have me portray the stories God wanted me to craft and, for the most part, tell in my own words (with the exception of a few who chose to write their own accounts) as a form of encouragement to, and restoration for, others.