What Cloud Is My Mommy In?
A Children’s Book About Love, Memories, and Grief
by
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There are numerous ways to help children process their grief. Just like adults, children grieve in their own ways. Among the factors impacting their grief are age, the type of loss (unexpected or expected), relationship to the deceased person, past losses, personality, and coping skills. There is no set time frame for grieving as a child or as an adult. It may be helpful to reach out to your local hospice organization, a local children’s hospital, your pediatrician, and/or a teacher or school counselor for assistance. Check with these resources if your child is expressing ongoing
fears, changes in behavior, changes in school performance, altered sleeping or eating, anger, deep sadness, or any other concerning behaviors.
When you or your child are grieving, this is a time when praying together can be a source of comfort and hope. Pray for specific things, such as, “Please let Mommy know I love her,” or “Thank you, God, for taking good care of my mommy.” Sometimes our prayers can be for us, such as, “Please, God, help my heart not to miss Mommy so much,” or, “God, please help me to remember the fun times I had with Mommy.” Whatever prayer comes to your mind or heart (or that of the child) is okay.
Here are some things you can do together to aid in processing grief and/or to create tangible remembrances in honor of their mom. Be attentive to the child’s response to these activities. If it seems to stress the child, ask if he or she would like to stop the activity. Assure the child that it is okay to stop. While this story focused on getting through important days and holidays some “anytime activities” are included since grief obviously occurs on normal, regular, everyday kind of days too.
Anytime Activities
1. Look through photo albums and reminisce about happier times. Allow the child to ask questions and answer them as best as you can. Avoid providing too much information. In other words, answer questions honestly and gently, staying focused on the specific question.
2. Watch videos of the child with his or her mom if the child seems comforted by them or asks to see them. This offers the opportunity to not only see Mom but to hear her too. A caring adult should be present while the child watches the videos. If watching the video prompts tears—which are okay—ask if he or she wants to keep watching or would prefer to stop.
3. Create a “Mommy Journal.” Ask the child questions about memories of Mom while they remain fresh in his or her mind. Record the child’s answers. Here are some examples:
a. What was her favorite food?
b. What games did you like to play with Mommy?
c. What book did she love reading to you?
d. What did she look like?
e. What did she do for you at bedtime (bedtime ritual)?
f. What made the two of you laugh?
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Book Details
About the Book
Experiencing loss, whether sudden or expected, is extremely challenging at any age. For children, this time is not only scary, but also can be overwhelming and sometimes lonely.
A little turtle loves doing fun things with his mommy that include flying a kite. But his world is turned upside down after his mother suddenly falls ill and goes to the hospital one day. When the turtle’s father tells him she has gone to heaven to live with God, the turtle must somehow learn to live without her. The turtle misses his mommy so much. While he wonders if she is living in a cloud, his grandmother and others help lead him through all of his feelings as he moves through the first year following her death and learns that it is okay to cry, laugh and be happy, and forever love his mommy with all his heart.
In this beautifully illustrated and touching tale, a young turtle learns how to deal with loss and grief after his mother suddenly dies and leaves him believing she is watching over him from her heavenly cloud. This book provides numerous recommendations for adults supporting the grieving child. These include suggestions for honoring memories, creating tangible remembrances, and working through shared grief in a gentle and supportive way.
About the Author
Kim Vesey is a registered nurse and certified spiritual director who has worked in the hospice field for thirty-five years. In addition to caring for many patients, Kim has also suffered unexpected personal losses that included her husband, her father, and her daughter, Sarah, who left behind her three-year-old son, Warren. Kim, who is also mother to son, Patrick, resides in Beavercreek, Ohio. What Cloud Is My Mommy In? is her first book in a planned series of children’s books on grief.